A Readers Letter

My Dear Terry Boys,
My wee maw is eighty-three and is terrified to leave her home, following conman Salmond's
false victory. Crowds of bloodthirsty gnats roam the street baying for Labour blood and her pension is gone after the gnats wrecked the formerly booming economy after only two hours in office. I know Labour will do their best to help us against the menace of the teuchter gnat race against our proud North British Labour Socialist identity but what if it is too late.

The peril is that our good North British, Socialist, Labour voting country will be swamped by evil haggis munching teuchters who have no sympathy with good North British Labour Socialist history. No decent home in Scotland will allow the colour yellow into their homes for fear it attracts gnats.

I have organised a mass book burning of all 'scottish' (scotpish more like-ed) literature, especially that gnat Burns who stole all his best lines from Tiswas, in an effort to destroy the gnat menace but I want you to know I am willing to lay down my life to stop people disagreeing with Labour. This "democracy" is all very well but if people cannot see what is best for them then we in the Labour party must use force.

NO SURRENDER!

Your humble servant

Mr Karl "Mad Dug" Marx

P.S My youngest has just pooed on a picture of Margaret Thatcher and stuck it to the kitchen window, so we don't need to worry about a Tory attack for a while.